Tolerance in Wyoming’s Culture- More than Men Vs. Women

Erin Swilling- Parent Educator in Cheyenne

Last week we blogged about the difference in Wyoming in pay scale for women vs. men;  being from California I am often asked why I moved here or why I am still here 18 years later. I’ve often reflected on why I like it here so much.  It is very different from CA, where I spent my first 17 years of life. And if you look at some of Wyoming’s statistics it certainly could make me question why I have chosen to stay and raise my own family. 

I’ve taken the last week to visit with co-workers, family and friends to get their feel of tolerance in our community. The consensus is that people are aware of the intolerance we (as women) face in pay, in minority culture, in progression and growth, etc. In visiting with a variety of people in the last week I realized that the majority of us were not born and raised here. I think times and expectations are changing. Slowly, yes.  But the idea that women should command less than men in the workforce is certainly not supported among the people I have talked to. 

So the question, why am I raising my own family here, needs to be looked at. It’s my goal to raise children who will help shape what tolerance not only looks like, but also change what it means. As our younger generations move up through the ranks and begin to be voices in our state, among our workforce, and throughout our lives and beyond the look and feel of Wyoming will change. I think that alone makes the teaching of tolerance in our great state an exciting and hopeful prospect. I like to think I am a part of that.  And even more that my three children will continue on with that same knowledge in their attitudes, interactions and life.

Teaching tolerance in Wyoming

Jennifer Petri- PIC Outreach Parent Liaison- Rock Springs and Green River, WY

I like females.  I like my daughters, my sisters, my mother, my co-workers, my girl friends, and myself.  I like Hillary Clinton, Condoleezza Rice, Sarah Palin, Nancy Pelosi, and Michelle Obama.  I respect what they do and admire their abilities.  Who wouldn’t?

Strangely, many people in Wyoming show a shocking level of intolerance for women.  Women are paid, on average, 55 pennies for every dollar a man makes in Wyoming.  Their abilities and contributions are given much lower value that that of their male counterparts.  Education does not improve the pay gap, in fact, it exacerbates it.

This discouraging fact illustrates this phenomenon:  The University of Wyoming consistently graduates more female law students than male.  Despite this, out of 25 Wyoming District Court judge, only 1 is female.  Out of 30 circuit court judges, only 5 are female.

Out of our 60 house legislators, only 13 are female.  Out of 31 Wyoming senators, only 1 is female.   The examples could go on and on…

Teaching tolerance begins with women.  As females, we need to accept and encourage each other in our efforts both professional and personal.  Each time a woman is degraded, all of us are degraded.  Each time we reach out and elevate a mother, daughter, friend, and co-worker, we are all supported.  Go Ladies!  Ya’ll know I’ll support you.

Different Family Constellations

Natalie Pique- Casper Area PEN Outreach Parent Liaison

My ten year old son came home from school last Friday and said, “Mom, my friend Paisley is SO lucky! She is going to the Superbowl with her dad and his new wife!” I told him that she was very lucky indeed, and right out of nowhere, he asked if his dad & I ever got divorced, would either one of us marry someone else. This sparked a discussion about divorce, remarriage, and step-families. He commented that most of his friends have step-parents & siblings and that he had very few friends that have their “original” parents. I explained that families look different all over the world, and there is not a right or wrong way to have a family.

Growing up, our family experienced several divorces over the course of 18 years, which meant that I had several step-parents and step sisters. Although at times it was difficult, I learned to love all of those people and considered them my family. The one constant in my life was going to my dad’s house every weekend, which sparked my life-long love for sports (hockey & football especially!). When I was 13, he remarried and moved out of state and I dearly missed those weekends.

My husband & I have been married for 21 years, and our boy’s have never known any different than what they have experienced a “family” to be. I have talked before about my step parents & step sisters with them, but I hope that this discussion about different kinds of families made my son realize that all families are not the same, and that’s okay! Whether it is a single parent, grandparent, foster or step family, it is still a family…and that is what counts!

CH CH Changes… Not as scary as it seems

Juanita Bybee- PHP Office Manager

I moved in with my mom after my father died a little over a year ago. In no way, shape or form did I expect to be living with or taking care of my mother (I use the term loosely because I will always be my mothers’ child and she will always think that she is in charge). I could have not predicted that I would be living with a parent. Change is unexpected and sometimes feared but none the less it happens to each and every one of us. How do you deal with change? Do you accept that things will change? Are you in denial that things will change? Are you in scared that things will change?

Looking back at my life, I think that life has just happened to me. I have been on cruise control, upset about things that happened in the past, angry at people that I felt have wronged me somehow. I have not thought about my present because I have always been looking back. Holding on to… I wish I would have done this different or I wish I didn’t do that, always looking back. I am missing my present because my eyes and thoughts are thinking about the past.

My father is gone now and I will no longer be able to ask him questions about his childhood or stories about him misbehaving as a teenager. I am here with my mother now. I need to be present in the moment and savor every gem of knowledge, story, recipe that she has to share.

Since my mom fell and broke her leg in two places, life once again has changed.  It seems that I am to be more present than even before. Sometimes circumstances force you to do things that in the long run are a blessing in disguise. Now I have the time to spend with my mom that forces us to talk about things. Time spent doing mundane tasks bring up memories from the past that I never would have learned from my mom if circumstances were different. I guess that I never really knew my parents as anything other than my parents. My mom enjoyed roller-skating as a child, just as I did.  She enjoyed dancing as well, just as I do. She worried about her kids and how they would turn out.  I guess I never really took the time to get to know my parents as people. With the circumstances that I have been placed in, I really have seen my mom in a new light.  If change didn’t take place, I guess I never would have been able to see my mom in a different role. Looking back, I know that I will not regret the time that I got to spend with my mom getting to know her as a person. I know now that she went through some of the same struggles and triumphs that I am working through being a parent myself.  Change really can be a good thing.

Parents as Teachers a Positive Resource

Tammy Dexter- PEN Parent Educator- Riverton

As Parent as Teachers Parent Educator, I fret whether I am providing a positive influence on my families and whether I am making a difference in their lives.

Then, I recently reflected upon the positive influence that my families provide to me as an Educator. My families and their children provide a shining light during my work day.
It is so rewarding for me to go into their homes and be greeted by the children with hugs many questions and rummaging through my bag of goodies. The enthusiasm that they demonstrate for my being there and the new activities that they will be exploring is a positive reinforcement for me. 

My families provide me with the opportunity of coming into their homes and experience the growth of their children with them.  Parents are excited to show me what new things that their children have learned and can do, from previous visits.  They have opened up their hearts and home to me.

So, I don’t know if Parents as Teachers is making a positive influence and difference in their lives, but I do know that the families and children have in mine.

Screenings, Oh Happy Screenings…

Blanca Moye- Parents as Teachers Parent Educator- Jackson Area

As a new year comes, we have a new to do list and on that list should be SCREENINGS for your children. Whether it be general development screenings, vision, Audio, or Dental. It seems that every year an often forgotten screening is neglected. For example in 2008 there were a huge amount of Dental issues for young children in Wyoming. In 2009 it seemed that Vision screenings were huge, and 2010 brought the focus to Audio Screenings- so please add all of these to your 2011 goals and ensure that your children are checked for all areas.

On a personal note, I was talking with my cousin and she stated that now she doesn’t listen to music loudly whether at home or in the car. Her reasoning went beyond her children’s audio development to include being alert to her surroundings. Being able to listen for a police or ambulance siren, or if the child in the rear seat was having issues. This really made me think about her reasoning, I wonder if others agree or have other tips to remain alert in the car?